At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
