so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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