I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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