i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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