some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
