Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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