Whod you bang
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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