I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize