woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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