the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
