Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
