woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
