Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
