textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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