Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
