The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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