That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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