screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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