just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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