It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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