You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
