What a fucking waste of an outfit
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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