I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
