Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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