I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
