i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize