bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
