i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
