worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
