yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
