its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
