It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize