Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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