this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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