If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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