I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.