in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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