Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member