Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.