jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
it was like eating out sand paper
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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