Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
