Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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