Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize