Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
