I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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