This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
