Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Holy shit dude........stairs
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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