So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
