she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize