So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
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