Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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