I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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