tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
