i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize