ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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