Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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