if only i could text you this smell
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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